Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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