Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
