dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
My vagina just clenched in fear
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
