party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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