life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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