there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize