I think i peed on brittanys purse
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
