I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
