You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
