the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
