if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize