She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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