also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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