It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
