420 ftw
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
