Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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