One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
