A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
