I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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