so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
