the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize