I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
