No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
