things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
