I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
