I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
All the doctor said was why
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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