I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
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