yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
