You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
