did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize