Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
