Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
