You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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