i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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