need another drink. this is the easiest way
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
