i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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