So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
