He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize