and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
