You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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