I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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