the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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