Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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