definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
