bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Mom said you looked used
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
