I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
