She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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