I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
