Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
