dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
