i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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