used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
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