Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I need to stop coming to work sober
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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