Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize