I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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