yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You need Xanax blowdarts
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Drunk is a universal language darling
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
