no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
