when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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