On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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