i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
