WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
