i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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