Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
thus making me awesome and them whores
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
