The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
