Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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