At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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