Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
